How To Choose And Buy An Engagement Ring

Popping the question can be a daunting task—for more reasons than one. So, as you prepare to get down on one knee, it helps to know you have the perfect ring in your pocket. In order to do so, it’s important to invest in a rock that you’re sure your partner will want to say ‘I do’ to.

From finger sizes and settings to stones and metals, there’s a whole heap of research involved in selecting the right engagement ring—which, considering its often hefty price tag, you’re going to want to get right. Thankfully, jewellery designer Wade Taranto, who has spent years crafting designs for leading Australian jewellers, is here to help you do just that.

“I think it’s important to have a clear understanding of your partner’s style and aesthetic interests,” shares the designer, who has spent the last decade and a half honing his craft. “A basic understanding of the types of gemstones available is a great start, [and] idea of stone shapes and colours can [also] be helpful in deciding on the type of ring you’re looking for.”

Here, Taranto unpacks all you need to know before you invest your hard-earned coin in an engagement ring, including the consensus on whether or not you should actually be involving your partner in the process.

What Steps Are Involved In Buying An Engagement Ring?

“The process generally begins with choosing a gemstone or variety of gemstones. There is an endless array of unique possibilities, so take some time to research your favourite colours and shapes. If you’re taking the custom or bespoke route, many jewellers will have a collection of loose gemstones available for their bespoke process, with the ring then designed and crafted around your chosen stones.”

“The design and make of the ring are just as important as the gemstones themselves. A poorly designed or crafted ring won’t do any stone justice, so it’s important that you allow enough time to find and work with the right jeweller for you. Ask for recommendations and most importantly look at physical examples of the jeweller’s work before you decide to start the custom process with them.”

How Much Research Should You Do Before Buying An Engagement Ring?

“A basic understanding of the types of gemstones available is a great start. An idea of stone shapes and colours can be helpful in deciding on the type of ring you’re looking for.”

“If you’re looking at diamonds, I would recommend some research into the four Cs: carat, colour, clarity and cut. Once deciding on these characteristics, you’ll have a better understanding of the diamonds available and what is achievable for your budget. However, don’t go thinking that what may seem best on paper is what’s best for you and your partner. There are so many beautiful diamonds and gemstones available where flaws, inclusions and variation in colour all add to their unique appearance and beauty.”

“Be aware of the different methods of crafting jewellery. A well-crafted piece will last a lifetime and then some, and the way it’s constructed plays a large role in its longevity.”

“Pre-booking an appointment for a bespoke or custom process is recommended, so you can be sure you’re meeting with your desired jeweller and/or designer, and an appropriate amount of time can be allocated to discuss your specific ideas.”

If Opting For A Custom Ring, Should You Include Your Partner In The Design Process?

“It’s definitely a personal choice and I find with my clients there seems to be a fairly even split when it comes to including your partner or not. I think often designing the ring together can be a lot of fun. Injecting both personalities into the piece often leads to unique concepts and designs. [In] saying that, there is a magic and romance in the surprise, and in my experience, once you work out a clear vision with your jeweller, the receiver usually falls instantly in love with the ring.”

If You Want To Surprise Your Partner With A Custom Ring, What Details Should You Have Ready For The Designer?

“Finger size is important (as close as possible that is). If your partner wears a ring that would seem a close fit, you can take it to any jeweller for sizing (this can be done on the spot). I usually lend my clients a ring sizing mandrel to take home and do this. If this isn’t possible, measuring the inside diameter of a ring usually works best. Just be mindful of the finger the ring is worn [on] and the overall size of the ring you’re measuring. A piece most suited as an engagement ring works best as a comparison.”

“I think it’s important to have a clear understanding of your partner’s style and aesthetic interests if you are making the occasion a surprise. Knowing where your tastes may align in these areas can also be helpful through the bespoke process.”

“Photos of other pieces of jewellery your partner wears can be helpful in portraying your partner’s taste in jewellery. Favourite outfits, artworks, music, furniture, etc can all help the designer understand their taste and aesthetic. Don’t stress too much if these things aren’t of too much importance though, great designs can come from simple conversations too.”

“The addition of hidden design elements can be added to almost any piece of jewellery, helping shape sentimental layers for future heirloom pieces. These details can be inspired by the simple everyday moments, [so] don’t be afraid to talk to your jeweller about how they can possibly be incorporated.”

How Can You Purchase The Perfect Engagement Ring While On A Budget?

“With the vast array of gemstones available, working with any budget is often possible when shopping for your engagement ring. The four Cs can all be adjusted in order to suit many budgets and opting for less traditional gems can provide unique designs with a more desirable price tag. More recently, salt and pepper diamonds, Australian sapphires and champagne diamonds have proved popular choices, due to their unique shapes and colours, and their price point is often more affordable than your traditional white diamond.”

“Recycling old family jewellery, whether it’s the metal or gemstones, can be a great way to secure your perfect ring while on a budget, and mixing old and new stones can help add a unique twist to your design while also providing a sentimental touch.”

What Features Of An Engagement Ring Should You Be Aware Of When Selecting An Existing Style Or Designing A Custom One?

“The type of setting, how many claws, the direction the stones are placed, whether the stones sit high or low on the finger, all play a part in the comfort, aesthetic and wearability of the ring. Some settings do provide more support for stones, so if you think your partner may be a little heavy handed or works with their hands, a more secure setting can sometimes be a helpful option.”

“The colour of metal is [also] important. What colour does your partner generally wear is a good question to ask yourself, especially if the ring design is a surprise. Some stones are suited to a particular coloured metal, however there are no rules, so don’t get caught up thinking you can’t put a white diamond in a yellow setting — or other traditional rules.”

“Trust that your jeweller has an understanding for the best balance between the size of the stones and the settings used. No one wants a ring with overbearing claws, however too thin and flimsy can quickly lead to damaged settings and lost stones. Some metals can [also] be harder wearing than others. Generally speaking, the higher the gold content, the longer lasting your ring will be.”

“Although it’s not absolutely necessary, it can be helpful to think ahead and allow for the style of the wedding band that will sit with the engagement ring. If you’re wanting a wedding band to sit flush, the style of the engagement ring must allow this. However, there are endless possibilities for bespoke wedding bands, crafted around the design of your engagement ring, so my advice is don’t get too caught up on this aspect of your purchase.”

How Can You Protect Your Investment?

“Most jewellers will generally offer yearly complimentary cleaning/servicing of your ring. This is important as they will check for loose stones, clean and polish your ring and advise if further work is necessary in order to keep your ring in mint condition.”

“When working with your hands, it’s generally best to remove your rings. Activities such as the gym and washing dishes can quickly lead to chips and scratches. Whenever removing your jewellery, be sure to store your ring in a safe place. A soft fabric-lined box/hard case is ideal to avoid scratching and knocks from other objects or jewellery.”

Engagement & Promise Rings Are Back For Valentine’s Day

Are Engagement & promise rings making a comeback?

If you look towards the hands of celebrities and social media influencers, the answer is yes.

In the last few years, promise rings – an economical and humble ring that symbolises a serious relationship but not marriage – have been seen on celebrities from singer Miley Cyrus and now-ex-husband Liam Hemsworth to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

More recently, social media influencers pushed the phrase “Showing Off Our Promise Rings” into a viral trend on TikTok, according to Bustle.

Eder studied at a university in Oklahoma, a conservative state in the US that is part of what is called the Bible Belt, where promise rings are a “big deal” she said.

Fast-forward a few years, Eder met her now-boyfriend a few months before New Zealand’s Covid-19 lockdown in March and April. While lockdown spelt the end for many romances and even marriage, the five weeks Eder and her boyfriend spent together with her family during lockdown expedited their relationship, Eder said.

“I wouldn’t put a timeline on anything – and this sounds silly – because there isn’t a timeline on how fast you fall in love,” she said. “My parents knew each other for three months when they got engaged and are still married 25 years later.”

Pandora, another global jewellery brand with a presence in New Zealand, sees an uptick each year in sales for its promise rings leading up to Valentine’s Day, according to a company representative.

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There’s evidence that promise rings have been in and out of favour for hundreds of years. In the 16th century, English love birds gave and received posy rings that were engraved with love poems, according to the Knot. Acrostic rings, where different gemstones were code for different letters, communicated secret messages between couples during the Georgian and Victorian eras, which was between the years 1714 and 1901.

The classic bow ring was also seen as a promise ring. The bow, like the relationship, could easily come undone as opposed to the seriousness of an engagement.

There are no cut and dry rules for this new generation of promise ring bearers. It’s all up to the couple on if and when a promise ring is given, how to present it, the reason it is exchanged, or which finger to wear it on. Some people wear it on the wedding finger, on the ring finger of the right hand, or on a chain around the neck.

“I personally would wear it on [the wedding] finger,” said Eder, who plans to move it to the right hand when she, hopefully, gets engaged.

A promise ring has traditionally been seen as a gift for a woman in the relationship. Now men are wearing them too. Actor Robert Pattinson, a serial promise ring giver, wore matching promise rings with former girlfriend FKA Twigs.

Promise rings are often confused with “purity rings” which were a trend in the late 90s and early 2000s. Chaste celebrities including Britney Spears and the Jonas Brothers wore rings – often on their wedding finger – to symbolise their commitment to abstaining from sex until marriage.

The current trend for promise rings could also be the antithesis of purity rings as couples increasingly live together before marriage, have no intention to ever marry or if they do, get married later in life, one jeweller told the Knot. Those couples might still want a symbol of their commitment and a promise ring is a good stand-in.

For Eder, it is all about the feeling in your gut on if and when to exchange promise rings.

“When you feel comfortable in a relationship and you start to think that you might want to spend the rest of your life with that person,” she said, “that might be the right time.”

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A Jewelry Line Inspired by a Design Family’s Heirlooms

For more than three decades, the Italian designer Ilaria Icardi resisted following in the footsteps of her father, Umberto Icardi, by becoming a jeweler. He and his brothers, Giuseppe and Piero, set up their family-run fine jewelry business, Emmeti, in Valenza in the late 1960s and made precious gold pieces for private clients and, eventually, bigger brands such as Tiffany & Co. Valenza, a small industrial town in the north of Italy surrounded by undulating, verdant terrain that the region promotes as Little Tuscany, has been renowned for its goldsmithery for centuries, but home held little appeal forIcardi. “My father tried to pull me into the business, but I instinctively refused it,” she says. “I wanted to get out and escape.”

Escape she did: to study fashion design in Milan, and an impressive, 25-year career in women’s wear — with posts at Yves Saint Laurent under Tom Ford and Stefano Pilati, then at Céline with Phoebe Philo — followed. Since 2013, she has been the design director at Victoria Beckham in London, where she lives with her 8-year-old daughter, Theodora. Though she occasionally dreamed up jewelry in these roles, it was only when her father passed away four years ago, that Icardi found herself truly drawn to his craft. “It lit a flame inside of me,” she says of his death, which ultimately spurred her to launch her namesake line this year. “It was already all there. I just had to bring it to life.”

Icardi’s debut collection is a concise and deeply personal offering inspired by her own miscellanea, including the jewelry her father made for himself, pieces from the Emmeti archives and trinkets she’s collected on her travels to Japan, India and North and South America. “The idea is that these are like family heirlooms acquired over many years,” she says of the seven made-to-order designs, which she produced with the help of her younger brother, Lorenzo Icardi, a gemologist who lives and works in Valenza.

At the heart of the collection is a reproduction of her father’s beloved gold chain necklace, which she inherited. A sharp dresser who favored custom-tailored suits, Umberto designed and made the piece himself and was never without it. “Now I wear it every day,” she says. She likes to pair it with another of his creations that she has also replicated for her line: a rectangular gold talisman pendant engraved with a motif of ears of wheat — “for good luck and prosperity,” she says — with a brilliant-cut diamond set in the upper right corner that evokes a sun. There are also 18-karat gold ’70s-inspired signet rings — one of which is inlaid with a striking lapis lazuli center — of her own design and more playful elements, such as an intricately detailed, gold astronaut-shaped pendant whose form nods to a trinket, modeled after a pair of spacesuit legs, that she found at a New York flea market some years ago.

The eclectic designs are united by a weighty, retro feel — Icardi sees the ’70s as the heyday of her father’s career — as well as by brilliant yellow 18-karat gold. Precious stones are used sparingly — just the lapis lazuli on the signet ring, and brilliant-cut diamonds on the pendant and an engagement band — but subtle hand-engraved guilloche adds texture to several of the more solid forms. Some keepsakes were harder to reproduce than others, though, including the uniquely shaped uncut mineral-green diopside pendant encased in a heavy gold setting that her father gave to her mother as an engagement present in 1969. “It’s hard to match that green, and it was driving my brother insane,” Icardi says.

Working so much with the permanence of precious metals has been a new experience for the designer — and indeed a cause of lighthearted sibling squabbling. “If a dress doesn’t look good, you can redo it, but with fine jewelry, the sketch needs to be accurate,” she says. “I’m learning that when I say yes, and my brother presses the button, there can be no changes.”

What’s more, Icardi and Lorenzo have largely had to finesse their collaboration remotely, using video calls and WhatsApp. Last summer, however, after months of separation, the siblings, their mother and Theodora managed to reunite for a family holiday on the Ligurian coast, near Portofino. “Lorenzo turned up wearing all the prototypes like an Italian Mafioso,” Icardi s says with a laugh. Her father, though, still feels ever-present. “I never sat down and cried when he died, but when I work with these pieces, I get waves of memory,” she says. “It’s like he is looking over me. I can feel it.”